Sunday, August 30, 2009

Mike Hanner: Private Eye: X

I slid the Glock into my hand as I entered the hangar. I saw Shaft and DeWayne on their knees, hands zip tied behind their backs. Seems that DeWayne was snoring in the luggage bin when the bad guys showed up. Shaft’s left eye was swollen shut, his lips were split, and there were various other lumps and bruises visible.

As I scanned the room, I counted one guy off to the side of Shaft, another guy in the opposite corner from me, and a slimeball in a suit standing with his back to Shaft and DeWayne, facing me.

“The gun won’t be necessary Hanner.” The slimeball said.

“That’s okay Jack, I’ll hold onto it until those two guys are free. This is between us now.” I answered as I kept walking towards the hostages.

“The name is Frank, and I’m calling the shots here, Hanner. I’ll…” I never let him finish as I pulled the pistol up and began shooting over his head. He and the other goon closest to Shaft ran for the back door of the hangar. The guy in the corner actually started shooting at me with his gat.

I managed to spin around and get off a couple of rounds before I felt a blinding pain in my chest. What the hell, these guys couldn’t hit their ass with both hands, and now, one of them hits me, of all people.

I dropped the Glock as paralysis overcame my right hand. The third guy was now running for the door. Shaft and DeWayne had scrambled behind a stack of wooden pallets when the shooting started.

As I heard a car starting out back, I threw my knife towards DeWayne so he and Shaft could free their hands. Suddenly I was feeling woozy and I noticed that a warm, sticky liquid was saturating the back of my shirt. I started running out the front door towards my car anyway.


Once outside I noticed a new Ford Mustang heading away from the hangar, towards the runway, wide open. As I was wondering if I could even drive, a white Mercedes slid to a stop beside me.
The passenger window slid down to reveal Victoria Lane on that side, and driving was none other than Dale Jr!

Dale leaned over and shouted, “You need a ride man?”

I pulled open the back door and dove in. I almost passed out as shards of bone were catching themselves in my shirt. I managed to wince, “Catch that Mustang.”

Jr was looking back in the rearview mirror, and with that crooked grin he said, “Now I bet you’re glad to see me, aincha Hanner?”

“Sure am.”

Victoria looked back at me, smiled that killer smile, and asked, “Are you going to be okay Mike? I told Dale that was your truck, or car, what is that thing anyway?” What’s going on here, Mike?”

“Those are the bad guys in that Mustang up there that Jr is gaining on. The ones that are shooting and kidnapping people.” I explained, then asked. “Can you catch them Dale?”

He now looked back without the smile. “Hell yeah, son. I do this for a living.”

The Mustang was screaming down the runway, yet Dale was quickly reeling them in with Miss Lane’s Mercedes. I was trying to hold myself upright in the backseat when Pennae jumped up against the chain link fence along the runway and popped off a couple of shots with her nine mm at the Mustang.

Dale shouted. “Dayumm! What the hell was that?”

I answered. “She’s with me. She must have seen what was happening through the binoculars.”

Dale smiled again. “I heard you know how to pick ‘em, Hanner.”

Victoria smiled at that.

We were now on the back bumper of the Mustang. I couldn’t believe how calm Victoria was at 110 MPH. I fished out a pistol and dropped it on the front seat for them.

The catch fence at the end of the runway was rapidly approaching as Jr bumped their back bumper, hard. Then he swung out in a classic slingshot maneuver. Yet, instead of passing the other car, he calmly eased the steering wheel to the right and hooked the Mustang in the right rear tire.

The Ford’s tires were screeching and boiling smoke as they were spinning towards the catch fence area. The Mustang stopped with a hard jolt as it caught itself in the fence. Dale Jr braked the Mercedes to a wheel hopping stop before we could join them.

I was still trying to open the back door as Dale jumped out with the pistol and trained it on the wrecked car. The three thugs were trying to extricate themselves from the wreckage as Jr was yelling at them to keep their hands up.

Pennae was now at the scene crying, as she didn’t see her father anywhere. I assured her that he was okay. I could hear police sirens as Five-O had shown up for the fake coke bust.

Eventually the cops made it down to our end of the runway and Dale Jr handed over the bad guys. We all piled in the Mercedes and rode back to hangar 11. Once there, Pennae started screaming. The police had Shaft and DeWayne stretched out on the asphalt. While the cops kept yelling that they had positive information that there was coke there and they wanted it.

Dale Jr stepped out, and the cops quickly helped the guys up as he explained that they were with him. Everybody loves this guy.

Victoria was holding my hand, telling me to hold on, an ambulance was on the way. I remember asking her about Jr, and she told me that they had been seeing each other in secret for a few weeks. About then, I guess I blacked out.


I had just awakened in a hospital room the next day when I heard those rapid, clicking high heels coming down the hallway. I tried to smile but the pain in the upper right side of my body was unbearable.

Chloe walked in. “Mike, I’m so glad you’re okay. Please stop it with this crazy job of yours.”

“I’m alright, just a shattered collar bone and shoulder blade. I caught the bad guys, exposed NASCAR, and it looks like Victoria is with the one she wants. Not bad for a day’s work.”

“Maybe you need to read this.” She slammed down today’s edition of the ‘Charlotte Observer’. There on the top of the front page was the banner headline, ‘Dale Jr Nabs Coke Dealers’. The story went on to say that Dale Jr was at Concord Airport, returning from a race, when he stumbled into a drug transaction. Then he singlehandedly chased, and caught, the bad guys.
What…The…Hell! No mention of NASCAR’s shady dealings. No mention of any shootings or kidnappings! No mention of Shaft. Most importantly, no mention of me! I didn’t know whether to cuss or cry.

Chloe looked as if she was enjoying watching my reaction. “I don’t know if I should give you this or not”, she said as she pulled an envelope out of her purse.

There were two pieces of paper in it. A letter which simply said, “You can’t beat us. Join us.” The other piece of paper was a NASCAR issued check for ‘consulting’. The amount? One million dollars.



  1. Great wrap-up to a great series. I enjoyed reading every single one of these!

    Hope Hanner will come back in the future on another assignment.

    His one million dollars will be a pretty nice bar tab... lol.

  2. This chapter is a real tearjerker - Vicky & Junior together, yes! Hanner gets shot and lives. So, Gonger, Hanner's life was spared. He'll quit drinking, find a "good" woman and become a

  3. Sounds like a happy ending. Mike Hanner consulting fees? What a howl ( payoff).

  4. Excellent wrap up to the Mike Hanner series! I'd be with Hanner--not knowing whether to cry or cuss!

  5. Well, I guess this is the only way it could end. Dale Jr, the knight in shining armour, with Victoria at his side. Funny, I remember thinking that he had to win a race to accomplish that feat! Good read Gene. Thanks!

  6. Gonger....thank you for reading them all. I think Hanner probably gave up drinking after this

    Bev...I didn't think about it being a tearjerker. Realy?

  7. Photo....I guess the question is, will Hanner take the payoff and look the other way. After all he was hit in the head with a bat. He, and two others were shot. Two people were kidnapped. NASCAR may have 'fixed' races, etc.


  8. Jon...I think Hanner got over Jr getting all the credit, and the coverup that occured, when he saw that

    CR....The legend of Jr continues to grow. Now he breaks up imaginary drug deals. He's such a star even NASCAR can't keep him out of Victoria Lane...LOL.

  9. Nice endding!! When do they start filmming it and who will play Mike Hanner?

    You will have to say Dale has shown signs of getting back to Victora,,lol

    Cheers2You on a great story/blog.

  10. Shoot no He should not take the million. NASCAR should pony up a cool $10 mil to keep the PI quiet. hahahaha After all Hanner knows too much. And he could really blow NASCAR out of the water if he wanted too. Make em negotiate.

    Good to see that Ms. Lane got her guy in the end. And as usual Jr. gets all the credit while doing none of the hardwork. lol

    Glad series Gene. Can't wait to see what you come up for your next series of blogs.

  11. F-2....Bruce Willis is begging to play the part of Hanner. lol

    Yes, Dale Jr has two top-10s in a row!!! Whoo!!! Better dust off the trophy shelf for all the new ones soon to come. LOL

    Thanks, and Skoal Bro.

  12. Tsfan...NASCAR may have too much power for Hanner to try and negotiate with them.

    Just like Jr...always the hero! lol

  13. Great job Gene, Somewhere the Mick is smiling.

    Take care

  14. Ahhh, there is my knight in shining Levi's! =)

    Take the bribe Hanner, its the way they do business. Plus you have all those extra copies of the disk to keep you in the money for years. Leave the real investigating to the Valus gang...

  15. way to wrap up the story Gene!

    Hanner should take the money and run. The "new mob" of the south (Nascar) will never let the truth out. If he tries to fight, he will end up like Jimmy Hoffa.

    Just remember not to let Jr do his own driving in the movie. He has a hard enough time hitting his mark on pit road!

  16. Aero....thanks for hanging in there until the end. lol

    Kristen....Levis? I thought they would be Wranglers fo sho.

    Hanner only has one copy of the disc. Guess NASCAR got to the TV networks and convinced them it would be in their best interest not to air any illegaly gotten info.

    The Valus Gang? Are they still looking for a lugnut? Let me know when you want a proffesional to find it for ya. LOL

  17. Stork...I concur. If NASCAR can buy off the cops, the TV stations, newspapers, etc. Hanner wouldn't stand a chance against them

    I may have to let Jr do his own driving just so he'll appear in the movie. Got to have him--- and his billions of ticket buying fans---on board.

  18. Don't you do it, Hanner! Don't give in to those corporate weasels. Better to die thinking on your feet than becoming a walking, business suit zombie.

    Great series Gene!

  19. Mose...That's a lot of money just for looking the other way. How can he fight NASCAR? They have the police, the media, even the drug testing labs (right Jeremy?) in their pocket. What can Hanner do to them?

    You would think that a publicly traded company (ISC) would have to be accountable....but when the majority of stockholders all have the same last name, I guess not.

  20. BILLY BOB THORNTON!!! He should play Mike Hanner! Amazing what you think about at 4 in the

  21. Would Jim Rockford have taken the money? Would Thomas Magnum taken the money? No way. Hanner is above all of this....

    At the very least, whatever pub/joint/club/bar or "establishment" he walks into - someone is buying him drinks and the ladies will all flock to the next barstool.

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  23. I was just thinking about this story the other day. (aka BelleofSavannah)