Sunday, August 28, 2016

Slap On The Wrists

Once again NASCAR's crack team of inspectors has detected something illegal on a car... after a race. Brad Keselowski's Penske Racing Ford was found to be not up to specified tolerances via laser technology... after the race. This, of course, will merit some sort of NASCAR "penalty" against the #2 car at an upcoming event. To help some of you 'fans' out, I am publishing the "punishments" per minor penalty as NASCAR has them noted in their "rule book".

Chapter IX, Section 43.43 Penalties per minor infractions:

1-10 Infractions: Hand written notes to all inspectors saying you're sorry.

11-20 Infractions: Team members will have to take their seats at the next drivers meeting after everyone else is seated.

21-30 Infractions: Team hauler has to wait after the race until all other transporters have exited the track.

31-40 Infractions: Driver won't be 'interviewed' during Mikey's pre-race pit walk. Seems counterproductive, I know.

41-50 Infractions: Driver's motor coach will be parked alongside entry gate and driver will be forced to sign autographs, in full uniform, through the fence all weekend when not in the car.